What’s so Final About Final Exams?

by Julie Kleinhans on June 12, 2014

It’s that time of year… final exams are here! Parents, teachers and students are feeling the pressure of finishing out the school year on a good note. To make matters worse, the Common Core Standards are an additional stress in our lives.

We all want our children and students to do well, but what does that really mean? Is success defined by a test score? Do final grades really determine the future success of an individual? Does it all end there? Or do we allow it to end there because of the meaning we attach to tests and grades?

Has our reliance on test scores for “achievement” taken us further away from what we really want for our kids? I would say yes!

Here are some tips to help put things into perspective so you and your kids can avoid stressful arguments and feel good about the end of the school year:

  1. Don’t attach meaning to the outcome of your child’s tests
    Many parents and teachers project into a child’s future that they will not do well in life or have a happy and successful career if their grades are not average or above average.
     
    From my experience, as a former high school teacher, a student’s well-being is negatively effected when parents and schools make too much of a deal about tests results. When a kid hears, “you have to be successful in school if you want to be successful in life,” they feel inadequate if they aren’t meeting expectations. This results in a poor self-image and a lack of confidence in their own abilities and intelligence. Remember this: A positive self-image is the number one ingredient for a successful life!
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  3. Focus on your child’s mental, physical and emotional health and well-being first
    It’s obvious that today’s academic climate is damaging our kids mental, emotional and even physical health due to stress and anxiety. Rather than expecting positive feelings to come to you and your child based on his/her performance in school, accept wherever you child is at academically.
     
    Remember that when you are coming from a place of non-judgment you are creating the space for them thrive on their own terms, which is what true success and confidence is all about.
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  5. Work with your own energy first before approaching you child/student about his/her studies
    If you are coming from a place of worry, frustration, anger or stress you are creating resistance. Nobody, especially teenagers, feels motivated or inspired to make positive changes when it’s coming from a place negativity.
     
    Before you talk to your child/student about studying and their grades, be sure that you are in a neutral place and release attachment to outcome. From this place, your child/student will be more inclined to be open to suggestions and support rather than fighting back.
     
    And in working with energy, remember the Law of Reflection will always mirror back to you what’s going on within yourself.
     
    By balancing expectations, taking care of what’s most important when it comes to your child or student’s well-being and working with your energy, you will find yourself playing a bigger role in influencing your child or students success!

Inspiring Kids

Have you seen this Tedx video of 13 year-old Logan LaPlante?

I love this kid! He really gets what’s going on and has such a realistic and inspiring message for us all.

Check it out!

Hackschooling makes me happy Hackschooling makes me happy

 

© 2014 Julie Kleinhans, Mind Focus Generation

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

“Youth Empowerment and Education Expert Julie Kleinhans works with teens and young adults to love themselves, be successful and embrace their own uniqueness. Get her FREE Guide for Parents “5 Steps to Productive, Confident and Happy Kids” at www.MindFocusGeneration.com.”

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Supporting Young Men to Release Pain and Anger

by Julie Kleinhans on March 17, 2014

If you tuned into the interview I had with Tori Hartman during Successful Kids Revolution, you may remember the emotional release I had in making the connection between my grandmother (my father’s mother) passing away when my mother was pregnant with me and my life’s path. It was quite a breakthrough for me.

You see, ever since I can remember, boys and young men have come to me for support with emotional issues. It started when I was in high school, having male friends come to me to talk about their problems.

Later in life as a teacher, it seemed that every troubled high school boy would land on my doorstep. As a coach, this continues.

I can tell you this – I understand the deep pain that boys and young men are struggling with. And when I came upon this video, it really resonated with me.


The Mask You Live In

 
From a spiritual perspective, I’ve been trying to understand this connection I have with troubled youth (particularly young men), the suicide and drug related deaths of too many young people I’ve known, and my life’s purpose.

For the longest time, I’ve had these questions floating around in my head that went something like this: What the heck do I do with this information? How do I help? Why is this showing up in my life so much? Why do I have such a strong emotional connection to kids that struggle? Why do I attract boys and young men into my life that need support with so many issues? Why do I understand their pain unlike so many others? It’s as if I can read their mind and tap into their emotions…and the truth is, I can.

During my live interview with Tori Hartman, she helped me to solve the riddle that I’ve been questioning for a very long time.

Tori revealed that when I was born part of my purpose was to heal the emotional pain my dad was carrying due to the death of his mother. She told me because of this, I have a need within me to help heal the emotional pain of males. WOW!!! There it is, the answer to the riddle.

Then when my dad passed away in 2007, my spiritual journey was triggered and it lead me to creating something really positive so that I can guide others to heal and support youth all over the world. That healing part of me gets to play a bigger game in the world now.

I think most of us understand there is so much pain and anger within so many young men todayIt’s time to shift our ways of being in society if we are ever going to reverse this pain we’ve created.

So what is going on that causes boys to turn angry and create the MASK?

All these tough guys that I’ve worked with as a teacher, mentor and coach had one thing in common: a big heart with a fear of showing it to the world.

To cope and fit into what society programs them to believe about who they “should” be as “men”, many young men create a hard exterior.

Not only does posturing create a false identify for our young men, it leads to many issues that are unhealthy and down right dangerous.

Here’s some of what these boys and young men shared with me that I want to pass on to you:

  • It’s embarrassing to be seen as soft or weak and when you are emotional, that is weakness, unless that emotion is anger.
  • I have many emotions that need to be felt but because it’s not accepted in our society, I will never share these feelings with you or anyone unless you really provide a space of complete trust and acceptance. This can take lots of time.
  • I would rather cover up the pain with drugs or use violence as a release.
  • When I don’t feel safe to express myself, I will take that anger out in society in any way I can.
  • Nobody understands me and the pressures placed on me as a guy.
  • I hate that I need to prove my internal and external strength to friends and family. It’s overwhelming!

For me, I understand that as long as I hold the space for these young men to feel safe in sharing their feelings, no matter what they are in the moment, they begin to shed layers of that mask. I hold no expectations or judgments about what they should be or do. When we can do this for them, they grow into strong, confident and balanced men.

What can you do to create a safe space for the boys and young men in your life?

© 2014 Julie Kleinhans, Mind Focus Generation

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

“Youth Empowerment and Education Expert Julie Kleinhans works with teens and young adults to love themselves, be successful and embrace their own uniqueness. Get her FREE Guide for Parents “5 Steps to Productive, Confident and Happy Kids” at www.MindFocusGeneration.com.”

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The Importance of Raising Children with an Abundant Mindset

May 22, 2013

I cannot speak for everyone but I’m pretty certain that most of us were raised and educated based on a lack mindset. What is a lack mindset you ask? It is one in which we see and believe in limitation. For example, when a situation does not go as planned, do you look at all […]

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Apr. 15, 2013-Inspire My Generation with 21 year old author Jake Ducey

April 18, 2013

© 2014 Julie Kleinhans, Mind Focus Generation WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Youth Empowerment and Education Expert Julie Kleinhans works with teens and young adults to love themselves, be successful and embrace their own uniqueness. Get her […]

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Apr. 8, 2013-Connecting to Your Genius Vision for Joyful Parenting with guests Theresa Maguire, Amanda Johnson, and Anne Maxwell

April 18, 2013

© 2014 Julie Kleinhans, Mind Focus Generation WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR NEWSLETTER OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it: “Youth Empowerment and Education Expert Julie Kleinhans works with teens and young adults to love themselves, be successful and embrace their own uniqueness. Get her […]

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